Where I started my journey (11/3/05)

I was at work, and I'd just got done teaching my first period class when my phone rang.  I answered it, and the secretary said my sister was on the line.  It was odd that they'd let her through since I was technically still teaching that period.  Anyway, Alyssa told me something was wrong with Mom, and I needed to get to the hospital.  Before I could even really think of lesson plans or anything, the principal came up to my room with another teacher.  He said my students would have study hall with that teacher.  Little did I know that my mom was already dead, and Alyssa had to tell the office that so I could leave. 
On my drive to the hospital 20 minutes away, I was trying to think of what could have happened to Mom.  She'd had hip replacement surgery just 2 years before, so maybe she'd fallen.  I was trying to think of anything and everything but the truth.  When I arrived at the hospital, my stepdad told me the truth.  I didn't know what to think or do.  I used my grandma's cell phone to call Pat, and he and Aiden came to the hospital.
Some of it is a blur, but I know we had to hear all the details of what my stepdad thought might have happened and that he'd called 9-11 while giving CPR.  She was already dead though.  I know she ate an English muffin last and that she'd fallen asleep on the couch. 
I chose not to see her body, which is something I regret.  She didn't look the same at the funeral. 
Anyway, the next few days were quite rough, especially trying to orchestrate Alyssa having Ethan and letting everyone know about that while trying to figure out my mom's arrangements and everything else.  I'm so glad that Alyssa had Ethan so quickly after Mom's death to help us all take our minds off that horrible event. 
Mom died on November 3, 2005, and she was buried on November 11.  Pat and I went to Merrillville the night of the funeral to eat at one of Mom's favorite restaurants, Olive Garden, and start our Christmas shopping.

It took me a few weeks to realize what I had to do.  A few days before my mom's death, she and I were eating at a restaurant and discussing the possibility of us both getting Lap Band surgery to lose weight.  I had no idea at the time that I was so big, and I didn't think my weight was THAT big of an issue.  But, I did need to do something if I didn't want to die young like my mom.  She was only 47 years old with two baby grandsons.  I wanted to be able to see all my grandkids and even great grandkids.  That's where my journey began.

This picture was taken a month before my mom's death.  My weight was 245 pounds.