for about nine months! We got a surprise this week with several positive pregnancy tests. I have a very big goal to keep exercising and eating right so I don't gain too much. The baby will be here towards the end of March 2013, and I would love to fit into ALL of my clothes (not just the ones from now but also from last year where I was in a smaller size) by August 2013 when school will restart. I know I can do it!
On another note, my SHAPE Mag should be out in a week or two. Look for me as a weight loss success story! These are exciting times!!!
Later...
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
10 years of marriage and other stuff
Today, my husband and I celebrate 10 years of marriage. A LOT has happened (lots of trials) in these ten years...house flooded, three kids, the death of my parents, the death of several grandparents, basement flooding at the house we bought, work, arguments, etc. BUT we made it through and know we can make it more than 10 more years. We have shown that we are strong and love each other. We have three beautiful kids that are the light of our world, and we work together to get through it all.
An another note, I am following my new exercise program pretty well so far. I am training for a 5K in August. Since I haven't run much since my half marathon last June, I am doing an advanced beginner plan. I don't want to burn myself out. The good thing is that I can add in about three days of other workouts I like also, and I am working on strength training also. I kind of created my own strength routine based on what I am familiar with and using the heavier dumbbells we have. I can even watch TV while I use them, so it's easier to stick with.
My weight's still up, but I think with these changes and reading more about healthy eating, I can get this weight back off. I am confident! I just need to stop with the ice cream! LOL
My SHAPE Magazine story will now be in the August issue, which comes out at the end of July (while we're on vacation). I'm ready to see it! I can't wait to see which picture they chose!!
That's about all I've got for now.
Later...
An another note, I am following my new exercise program pretty well so far. I am training for a 5K in August. Since I haven't run much since my half marathon last June, I am doing an advanced beginner plan. I don't want to burn myself out. The good thing is that I can add in about three days of other workouts I like also, and I am working on strength training also. I kind of created my own strength routine based on what I am familiar with and using the heavier dumbbells we have. I can even watch TV while I use them, so it's easier to stick with.
My weight's still up, but I think with these changes and reading more about healthy eating, I can get this weight back off. I am confident! I just need to stop with the ice cream! LOL
My SHAPE Magazine story will now be in the August issue, which comes out at the end of July (while we're on vacation). I'm ready to see it! I can't wait to see which picture they chose!!
That's about all I've got for now.
Later...
Friday, June 15, 2012
I haven't been posting much because...
I haven't been motivated to lose weight, exercise, eat right, etc. I am not sure if it's in my mind, something wrong with my body (getting my thyroid checked out soon), or depression since I have no more parents. BUT it's been a mental struggle for a while now. I am not sure how to get over it and back on track. I know my tight clothes are driving me nuts along with my fat rolls and things jiggly that shouldn't be and my puffier looking face. I know I need to do something. I need a kick, and I don't know where it's going to come from or when. I feel like I'm just going through the motions (of life?), but I am not getting much out of it. I put on a happy face, but I don't think I am really feeling that way. One would think after losing my dad to health problems, I would feel that drive like I did after my mom died. Maybe it's because I am still getting compliments about my weight loss, I am still fitting into non-plus size clothing, and my husband still finds me attractive that I am not finding that spark to lose the 20 pounds I've gained in the past year. I think if I had the time or money, maybe I would join an exercise class or something. BUT I am doing it all on my own. I've done it all on my own before and been motivated, so what gives now?
Anyway, maybe I'll figure this out soon. I sure hope so. On a lighter note, my issue of SHAPE Magazine should be out in the next week or two. I originally thought I would be back down to at least 160 (was 169 this morning) by the time the issue came out, but...
If anyone has seen my motivation, please send it back to me. I sure do need it again!
Anyway, maybe I'll figure this out soon. I sure hope so. On a lighter note, my issue of SHAPE Magazine should be out in the next week or two. I originally thought I would be back down to at least 160 (was 169 this morning) by the time the issue came out, but...
If anyone has seen my motivation, please send it back to me. I sure do need it again!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Life has changed...
The last post I wrote was about missing my mom and my dad's lack of motivation to be healthy. Since then, Dad lost his battle. I am not going to describe all of the details surrounding his death, as I have slowly started to heal and don't want to open that wound again. I can still see him laying pretty much lifeless on that ICU bed way too many times to get into too many details about it here. He passed away on March 4, 2012, after having cardiac arrest on March 2 and not really ever coming back around. We had to make the decision to take him off of life support, and he passed about 2 hours later. What this means is I am now an orphan. Yes, I am an adult, and therefore, I do not "rely" on my parents much anymore. However, to think that I don't have that support in my life anymore is really a hard thing to handle. I am too young to have no parents. It means the world to me that I do have other family members that try to step in and help. I really do appreciate it. I just wish I wouldn't have to be in this situation. It's something I cannot change though.
Anyway, after Dad's death, I was pretty depressed and still have bouts of depression. I knew his death due to diabetes-related issues should have helped me re-continue on my weight loss journey, but honestly, I had to step back for a few weeks. I have gained 20 pounds in the last year. That combined with the aforementioned situation made it so I just didn't care for a bit. Luckily, I have since lifted my head up higher and realized what I really need to do (again). I am sick of my clothes not fitting, and I will make damn sure that my kids won't lose me to poor health when they are not old enough to lose a parent (or more than one).
So, I have made a commitment to exercise five days a week with at least two of those day being strength training. I have added running back into my weekly routine. I have also been food journaling on one of my weight loss sites. I have been working on getting my kids healthier, or at least been making plans that I need to solidify for that. I am determined to fit back into all of my clothes (my skinny clothes) by what would have been my dad's 56th birthday, which is September 23, 2012.
My first 100+ pounds were because of my mom (at least motivated by her death). My last 20-25 pounds will be motivated by my dad and my kids, who deserve to have me around for a very long time.
Later...
P.S. I had planned on getting my Master's degree soon, but I have decided to put that on hold for now. I need some time without as much stress, and I need to figure out what I really want to do in the future. The degree that I had planned on pursuing was just convenient, not necessarily what I wanted to do.
Anyway, after Dad's death, I was pretty depressed and still have bouts of depression. I knew his death due to diabetes-related issues should have helped me re-continue on my weight loss journey, but honestly, I had to step back for a few weeks. I have gained 20 pounds in the last year. That combined with the aforementioned situation made it so I just didn't care for a bit. Luckily, I have since lifted my head up higher and realized what I really need to do (again). I am sick of my clothes not fitting, and I will make damn sure that my kids won't lose me to poor health when they are not old enough to lose a parent (or more than one).
So, I have made a commitment to exercise five days a week with at least two of those day being strength training. I have added running back into my weekly routine. I have also been food journaling on one of my weight loss sites. I have been working on getting my kids healthier, or at least been making plans that I need to solidify for that. I am determined to fit back into all of my clothes (my skinny clothes) by what would have been my dad's 56th birthday, which is September 23, 2012.
My first 100+ pounds were because of my mom (at least motivated by her death). My last 20-25 pounds will be motivated by my dad and my kids, who deserve to have me around for a very long time.
Later...
P.S. I had planned on getting my Master's degree soon, but I have decided to put that on hold for now. I need some time without as much stress, and I need to figure out what I really want to do in the future. The degree that I had planned on pursuing was just convenient, not necessarily what I wanted to do.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
So, it's my birthday.
It's my 31st birthday. Every year since 2006, my birthday has brought about memories of my mom. My 25th birthday was the hardest because that was the first one where she was not here to celebrate it with me. She always tried to make our birthdays special, just like I try to do with my kids. Of course, Christmas of 2005 (my oldest's first) wasn't great because she was gone. Mother's Day of 2006 was horrible for me. Basically every big holiday and my birthday remind me of my mom. So, it's bittersweet.
Speaking of making the day special, I see people having good times with their mothers and daughters, and frankly, I get jealous. I would love to spend today with my mom, go out to eat, do something special, but that's not going to happen. It hasn't for a long time, and it never will again. However, when I think of how I would like to spend the day with her, I think about how different my life might be if she were still here.
As you already know, my mom's 2005 heart attack death was my biggest motivation for starting my weight loss journey. If she were still here (and I would absolutely love her to still be), would I have ever started this journey that has taken me in many new directions? I tried dieting and losing weight while she was still alive, and I was not able to stick with it. So, I am not sure that I would be where I am today if I hadn't had that motivation.
Speaking of motivation, another special person in my life seems to lack it. Losing a couple of toes wasn't motivation enough. Losing half of his leg wasn't motivation, and it appears losing his leg above his knee is still not motivation enough to want to get his life back together. Type II diabetes, heart problems, high cholesterol and blood pressure, and even his ex-wife's heart attack death isn't motivating enough. I am not sure what else we can say or do to give my dad the motivation he needs to keep going and want to live. I simply do not understand that. It makes me mad and upset. I've already lost one parent to poor health. I don't want to lose another one, and he doesn't seem to get that.
On the note of going after want you want, my students just completed a poetry unit where Dead Poets Society was a central focus. You know, the movie where "Carpe Diem" is the theme. As I was teaching them about this concept of seizing the day, not only did I hope they were truly listening to the message, it reminded me that I need to do the same. I need to go after what I want. I think I have done a good job of it so far...running a half marathon, losing over 100 pounds, now pursuing my Master's Degree. I am not the type of person who will just sit back and let my life pass me by. Why live a life like that? Contribute a verse to life's song!
Speaking of making the day special, I see people having good times with their mothers and daughters, and frankly, I get jealous. I would love to spend today with my mom, go out to eat, do something special, but that's not going to happen. It hasn't for a long time, and it never will again. However, when I think of how I would like to spend the day with her, I think about how different my life might be if she were still here.
As you already know, my mom's 2005 heart attack death was my biggest motivation for starting my weight loss journey. If she were still here (and I would absolutely love her to still be), would I have ever started this journey that has taken me in many new directions? I tried dieting and losing weight while she was still alive, and I was not able to stick with it. So, I am not sure that I would be where I am today if I hadn't had that motivation.
Speaking of motivation, another special person in my life seems to lack it. Losing a couple of toes wasn't motivation enough. Losing half of his leg wasn't motivation, and it appears losing his leg above his knee is still not motivation enough to want to get his life back together. Type II diabetes, heart problems, high cholesterol and blood pressure, and even his ex-wife's heart attack death isn't motivating enough. I am not sure what else we can say or do to give my dad the motivation he needs to keep going and want to live. I simply do not understand that. It makes me mad and upset. I've already lost one parent to poor health. I don't want to lose another one, and he doesn't seem to get that.
On the note of going after want you want, my students just completed a poetry unit where Dead Poets Society was a central focus. You know, the movie where "Carpe Diem" is the theme. As I was teaching them about this concept of seizing the day, not only did I hope they were truly listening to the message, it reminded me that I need to do the same. I need to go after what I want. I think I have done a good job of it so far...running a half marathon, losing over 100 pounds, now pursuing my Master's Degree. I am not the type of person who will just sit back and let my life pass me by. Why live a life like that? Contribute a verse to life's song!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Why do I keep having this problem?
I love the structure of an exercise program that tells you which exercises to do which day. The problem I have with them, though, is that I get bored after 1-2 months. I find myself doing my own thing. Yes, I am still exercising, but I assume I would get better results if I actually stuck to the program schedules the fitness experts devised...most probably know something about the order of the exercises and put them in that order for a reason.
I find that if I don't follow a program, I am more likely to slack off and not exercise as much. However, there is that boredom, even if I love the program (Turbo Fire and ChaLean Extreme, for example). I did okay when I did the hybrid of the aforementioned programs, but when I tried doing each on their own, it didn't work for me. I need to figure something out (oh, and start feeling 100% good or at least close to it).
On a different note, I have to be honest...I pigged out during Christmas. I gained close to 10 pounds during the holiday season. I became addicted to sugar and fat. I didn't really care what I was putting in my body, even things I previously (and now) try to stay away from...high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils. After the holidays, I decided this was not going to work. My clothes weren't fitting, I was not feeling well in several aspects, and the scale was way up. I assumed that once I started "being good" again, the weight would just fall off. Boy was I wrong! It's been 3 weeks, and I have lost about 1-2 pounds. Ugh!
So, what I have concluded is a) I need to not ever let myself become addicted to sugar again, b) I need to find some exercise regime that I will stick to, and c) I need to get over this cold/sinus stuff. When I complete all of these, I know I will get down to my goal weight...finally!!!
Later...
P.S. When I went through the online version of Chalene Johnson's PUSH book, I decided my PUSH goal (main non-fitness goal that I am working towards right now) is to apply to graduate school to give me more career options and more job stability (teaching isn't going in the right direction). The good news is I just have to wait for one more reference letter to submit then fill out the application. I know I'll get in...just have to find the funds to go through with it. :)
I find that if I don't follow a program, I am more likely to slack off and not exercise as much. However, there is that boredom, even if I love the program (Turbo Fire and ChaLean Extreme, for example). I did okay when I did the hybrid of the aforementioned programs, but when I tried doing each on their own, it didn't work for me. I need to figure something out (oh, and start feeling 100% good or at least close to it).
On a different note, I have to be honest...I pigged out during Christmas. I gained close to 10 pounds during the holiday season. I became addicted to sugar and fat. I didn't really care what I was putting in my body, even things I previously (and now) try to stay away from...high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils. After the holidays, I decided this was not going to work. My clothes weren't fitting, I was not feeling well in several aspects, and the scale was way up. I assumed that once I started "being good" again, the weight would just fall off. Boy was I wrong! It's been 3 weeks, and I have lost about 1-2 pounds. Ugh!
So, what I have concluded is a) I need to not ever let myself become addicted to sugar again, b) I need to find some exercise regime that I will stick to, and c) I need to get over this cold/sinus stuff. When I complete all of these, I know I will get down to my goal weight...finally!!!
Later...
P.S. When I went through the online version of Chalene Johnson's PUSH book, I decided my PUSH goal (main non-fitness goal that I am working towards right now) is to apply to graduate school to give me more career options and more job stability (teaching isn't going in the right direction). The good news is I just have to wait for one more reference letter to submit then fill out the application. I know I'll get in...just have to find the funds to go through with it. :)
Saturday, January 14, 2012
I'm back! (What I've been up to...)
Long time, no blog (again). Life has been pretty busy with a few lifestyle changes...mostly just trying to organize my life better and working on getting into grad. school.
I have had an ongoing sinus infection. Yes, I know. Even after surgery. But it's not as bad as it was before surgery. Anyway, not feeling well a few days led to no exercise.
Speaking of exercise, I am doing some Jillian Michaels' dvds, using the treadmill, and adding in my beloved Turbo in there for cardio once or twice a week. The scale was up around the holidays (darn holiday goodies!), but it is slowly going back down. I have about 20 more pounds I want to lose. Of course, I want to gain some muscle too. I know I can do it!
The other thing I that I am doing that I didn't (honestly) do the first 100-110 pounds is to count calories. I am using My Fitness Pal. Love the support and ease over there! My hubby is doing the same thing with counting calories (using Spark People), and he has incorporated an exercise routine also. I'm so proud of him! I also wouldn't mind more muscles on him, to be honest. Love a muscular man!
I am thinking about doing another half marathon, maybe in September. It was such a great feeling crossing the finish line last year at the Sunburst that I think I want that feeling again. The one I am looking at is in Indy and only for women. We'll see. If I sign up by the end of January, it's only $25. Let me think on this.
Oh, one more thing, several of my online friends have gotten certified to teach Turbo Kick (the gym version of Turbo Jam/Turbo Fire). I think I'll look into getting certified this summer. I know no one in the area has classes (that I have seen), so I might be able to actually have students/a class. :)
Later...
I have had an ongoing sinus infection. Yes, I know. Even after surgery. But it's not as bad as it was before surgery. Anyway, not feeling well a few days led to no exercise.
Speaking of exercise, I am doing some Jillian Michaels' dvds, using the treadmill, and adding in my beloved Turbo in there for cardio once or twice a week. The scale was up around the holidays (darn holiday goodies!), but it is slowly going back down. I have about 20 more pounds I want to lose. Of course, I want to gain some muscle too. I know I can do it!
The other thing I that I am doing that I didn't (honestly) do the first 100-110 pounds is to count calories. I am using My Fitness Pal. Love the support and ease over there! My hubby is doing the same thing with counting calories (using Spark People), and he has incorporated an exercise routine also. I'm so proud of him! I also wouldn't mind more muscles on him, to be honest. Love a muscular man!
I am thinking about doing another half marathon, maybe in September. It was such a great feeling crossing the finish line last year at the Sunburst that I think I want that feeling again. The one I am looking at is in Indy and only for women. We'll see. If I sign up by the end of January, it's only $25. Let me think on this.
Oh, one more thing, several of my online friends have gotten certified to teach Turbo Kick (the gym version of Turbo Jam/Turbo Fire). I think I'll look into getting certified this summer. I know no one in the area has classes (that I have seen), so I might be able to actually have students/a class. :)
Later...
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